


Getting of With a Bang

by Atomic_Platy



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Anal, Christmas, F/F, Kink, Lesbian Sex, Smut, Transformation, cracker kink, crackmass, discord made me do it, doctor who - Freeform, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-26 19:45:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17147969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atomic_Platy/pseuds/Atomic_Platy
Summary: Christmas with the Doctor and Yaz was always going to be exciting





	Getting of With a Bang

**Author's Note:**

  * For [everyone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/everyone/gifts).



> HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
> 
> Special thanks to Charlie, Gee, Amy, James and Mara for planting the seed that became this and being my emotional support through this.  
> Thanks to everyone in the discord server for being actual baes aswell

Yaz smiled as she admired the table she had set up in the TARDIS kitchen. As it was just the Doctor and her for Christmas in the TARDIS – Ryan and Graham had decided to have their's with Grahams family – the table was set up with just two. Two sets of cutlery. Two wine glasses. Two plates. Two crackers.

Yaz loved Christmas crackers. She loved the jokes, the little toys and the paper hats. Her favourite part though, was the loud bang the crackers made when pulled apart. For some reason, it always gave her shivers. The anticipation for the cracker to explode with a bang was just exhilarating and when it finally went off she was hit by a wave of what she could only describe as pleasure. She didn’t know why the noise affected her this way, it was just one of those things. Her family had sure given her some questioning looks when she had loudly moaned last Christmas when they pulled their crackers. She was yet to explore these feelings further but maybe this Christmas she could finally do something with this information. 

Interrupting her crackerey thoughts, the Doctor came in carrying a fresh, TARDIS cooked Turkey.

“All done, turkey cooked to perfection. Halal turkey of course.” She grinned, winking at Yaz as she put it in the middle of the table. Why they needed a whole turkey was beyond Yaz, but the Doctor had insisted.

Yasmin smiled and turned to grab the rest of the food they had prepared together earlier, placing them on the table. They had cooked a mix of traditional Christmas food and traditional “Khan Family Christmas” food – excluding her dads Pakora. There was even some food of the Doctors own creation…if they could be called food - fish fingers in custard, and what she suspected were custard cream and marmite sandwiches. Although they didn’t properly celebrate Christmas, her dad always insisted on making a feast of food and enjoying the time as a family. 

The Doctor re-joined her with a jug of some sort of drink she had made up earlier. The blonde had rambled on about it for ages, explaining that it had been given to her as a gift from the royals of an alien race after she managed to diffuse a bomb buried deep in the centre of their planet. After scanning the mixture with the sonic, which had told them that it wouldn’t poison either of them, they agreed that it would go well with their mash-up Christmas meal. 

The Doctor poured them both a generous glass full, not noticing Yaz’s raised eyebrows as the liquid filled the glass to the brim. Yaz was about to sit down when the Doctor stopped her, rushing around the table, her coat flapping, so she could push Yaz’s chair in for her. Yaz blushed at the gesture, taking a sip of her drink to hide the red of her cheeks. The Doctor sat down in her own chair opposite, hanging her coat on the back of her chair. 

“This all looks amazing.” Yaz said, looking over their feast. Her dad would be proud.

“It really does! Christmas Tea with Yaz!” The Doctor replied, smirking at her reference to herself.

Yaz shook her head at the blonde woman’s daftness, looking at her fondly. She kept staring at her until she heard the doctor mention the crackers. Another thing the Doctor had insisted on. 

***“We can’t have Christmas without crackers!” the Doctor had said as she grabbed the box from the shelf, eyes lighting up at the label stuck on, “Look! This says they are the loudest crackers ever. Well I’m sure those ones on Korinous Five were louder but they were used for an assassination attempt so…”***

“Yaz can we pull the crackers first? I want to put the hats on, ‘avent had a paper hat on this head yet!” The Doctor grinned, picking up her cracker.

Yasmin grimaced, picking up her own. “Um…sure” She replied. Best to just get it out of the way. Maybe “the loudest crackers ever” would hide the moans she knew she wouldn’t be able to control. She tried to relax as the Doctor held her cracker out across the table, but she felt the anticipation build up anyway, a warmth starting to flourish across her body. She looked up to the Doctor who had a cheeky grin on her face and one of those looks in her eyes. The lights of the room had her cast in a warm glow and she just looked so perfect and the yellow braces were out…okay maybe looking at the doctor wasn’t going to help her calm down the burning in her stomach. Yaz held out her own cracker too and they both took hold of the others. The Doctor nodded and they both tugged on the others cracker. They went off with a loud bang, but it was no way enough to cover up Yaz’s moan. Yaz looked down embarrassed and pretended to fiddle with her half of the cracker, pulling out the red hat and fumbling to get it on her head. The Doctor eyed Yaz with a mixture of concern and curiosity until the other girl looked back up. She busied herself with her own cracker, putting her own red hat on, grinning at Yaz happily.

“Hey Yaz, what do they sing at a snowman's birthday party?”

 

*******************************************************************************************************

 

After they had eaten their fill and placed the spare food in the fridge (a lot of fish fingers and custard had not been eaten, but the custard cream and marmite sandwiches were surprisingly nice) they retired to the Doctor's bedroom, just managing to change into their PJs, before collapsing into bed. They had planned on watching some films but the mixture of such good food and maybe too much of that drink had left them exhausted.

Yaz snuggled into the Doctor's side, holding her hand under the cover, and sighed contently. The Doctor smiled, leaning to kiss Yaz on the forehead before settling into the deep covers of the bed. The TARDIS dimmed the lights, sensing her Thief and the other one drifting off to sleep.

The Doctor tried to clear her mind but she couldn’t stop thinking about Yaz’s moans. And how she wanted to hear her moan like that again. The cracker had done something to Yasmin Khan but she couldn’t work it out.

“Hey, Yaz.” She whispered 

“Mmmm…what is it Doctor?”

“I just wanted to ask, why did you moan when we pulled crackers earlier? It wasn’t a moan of pain it was pleasure, but still different to when we are in bed together.”

The Doctor felt Yaz stiffen and press her head against her shoulder, clearly embarrassed.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I can forget it ever happened, quite easily actually.”

“It's fine, Doctor.” Yaz sighed. If she was going to tell anyone her thing for Christmas crackers, her alien girlfriend would be the most understanding. “I have always loved crackers but over the last few years, it has started affecting me more and more. It’s the build-up before the bang and when it does go off, I don’t know, it gets me off I suppose.”

The Doctor was quiet for a second before grinning and sitting upright. “So, you have a cracker kink! That’s brilliant Yaz, now we know we can start finding ways to bring that please into the bedroom. Honestly, I have never heard you moan that loudly before!”

Yaz smiled and pulled the Doctor back into the depths of the bed, kissing her deeply. She giggled after they parted, “Okay we can explore this tomorrow. I’m too full of food to try anything out tonight.”

The Doctor nodded, pulling her girlfriend in for another kiss before turning back to look at the ceiling.

Oooh, they were going to have fun tomorrow.

 

*******************************************************************************************************

 

“YAZZZZ!”

The Doctor kicked the bedroom door open, her arms full of bags, which she promptly dumped on the end of the bed.

Yaz sat up, confused and tired, rubbing her eyes so she could see what the Doctor had bought in clearly. The blonde was excited, immediately delving into the bags to show her what she had bought. 

“So I was thinking about your kink and I thought we could try out a few things!”

Amongst the stuff, Yaz could see a cracker fancy dress costume, varying sized crackers, a very technical looking vibrator and varying lingerie with colourful patterns.

“You couldn’t have gotten all of this from Sheffield.”

“You are right, I got the crackers from Tescos. I asked the lady where I can get kinky stuff from and she didn’t half give me a look. I had to go to the sex toy version of Kerblam, they had loads of stuff.”

Yaz shook her head, but got up and pulled the Doctor into a kiss, resting her arms on her girlfriend's shoulders. The Doctor eagerly kissed Yaz back, looping her own arms around the other woman’s waist. After a few minutes, Yaz reached down to grab the cracker costume and pushed it into the Doctors chest, “Why don’t we start with this then?” She whispered into the Doctors ear, her eyes glinting mischievously.

The Doctor nodded eagerly, moving towards the walk-in wardrobe, “Rodger that PC Khan.”

 

*******************************************************************************************************

 

After a few hours with little success, the two laid in bed next to each other in various states of undress. Little success was a little harsh, they had had a great time, but they hadn’t managed to make Yaz feel the same as she did when pulling a cracker at dinner. The doctor was naked except for the hat that came with the cracker and was snacking on a custard cream while Yaz was in a stripy red and gold dominatrix outfit decorated with shiny green Christmas trees. They would really be a sight if anyone was to walk in right now. 

“So…. what was the closest so far?” The Doctor questioned between bites of her biscuit. 

“When you put that cracker inside yourself and got me to pull it…that was interesting…”

The Doctor grinned at her goofily, “I am very skilled.”

Yaz laughed and sighed, “I did appreciate the vibe. Tech has come a long way since the bullet vibrator.”

“Yeah having it know exactly what your body wants is very beneficial. And it can change shape user to user – very versatile. Maybe you and I should go to that store, there are plenty of other things I would love to try.”

“I was sure we were going to be able to work this out, you know? We have all the resources in the universe. I can’t be the only one who has a cracker kink!”

The Doctor smirked and sat up, “There is one thing we haven’t tried yet, but it’s very alien.”

“Have I said no to anything we have done before?” Yaz grinned proudly. Yasmin Khan was very open-minded.

“Okay, okay, let me explain it first.” She reached into one of the discarded bags and pulled out a velvet box. It looked simple enough to Yaz but the way the Doctor was looking at it told her that that wasn’t the case. The blonde opened the box to reveal what looked like a metal collar. Yaz raised an eyebrow at the Doctor – she was normally the one putting the collars on people, not the wearer of one.

“This is a biological molecule re-transfigurer. If I put this on you it will turn you into whatever you please for a certain amount of time. As the object, you can still feel things that are happening but can’t communicate, so you won’t be released until it is set to.” The Doctor eyed Yaz but the other woman seemed unalarmed. 

“So, what are you turning me into?”

“A cracker of course”

“You can do that?”

“I can turn you into anything I want. I’m gonna turn you into a sexy little cracker and teasingly pull you apart.” The Doctor smirked at Yasmin’s reaction; she could hear her human's heart rate increasing as she spoke. “I’m gonna hold you at both ends and pull you slowly, and then when you think I’m gonna let you go off, I will stop. Maybe grab a biscuit. Maybe have some me time with our new vibrator. And you’ll just have to sit and wait until I pull you again.”

Yaz felt herself blushing, she wasn’t used to being the one having to submit, but at the same time, the idea of being totally in the Doctor's control really turned her on. She trusted the Doctor to do this.

She took the silver collar in her hands and fastened it around her neck, tight enough to put some pressure on her throat but not enough to hurt. Just enough to make her even hornier. Fuck.

“Do it, Doctor, I trust you. Turn me into a sexy little cracker”

With that, the Doctor grabbed her sonic from the bedside table and held it to the collar. “So I'm turning you into an extra loud cracker and you won’t be released until I let you off.” She removed the sonic and held her finger above the button which would activate the collar. “Are you 100% happy with this?”

“Yes. Please. I want you to turn me into a cracker. I want you to tease me until I explode.” Yaz sat up on her knees and gave the doctor a kiss. With that, the Doctor pressed the button. With a small flash, Yaz disappeared and a cracker dropped onto the bed sheets.

The Doctor grinned, “Glad that worked. Can never be sure with these things.” She picked up Cracker Yaz and grinned at it, “Hello Yazmin Cracker Khan!”

 

*******************************************************************************************************

 

Yaz tried to look around but she couldn’t. She could somehow see everything around her. She wanted to blink her eyes to check that she wasn’t dreaming but that’s hard if you don’t have any eyes. She could see everything always. She couldn’t move. Even though the Doctor had picked her up lightly, the pressure she had on her whole body was exhilarating. It was like the Doctor was touching her everywhere at once. She knew if she had a vagina at this moment, she would be soaked. This was like nothing she could ever have imagined. God only knew what she would feel when the Doctor would actually pull her apart. 

The Doctor smiled at Cracker Yaz, gently toying with the ribbons that were tied to the ends, rubbing the ribbon sensually through her fingers. She gently traced Cracker Yaz’s intricate patterns, sometimes rubbing harder and sometimes barely gracing the paper with her touch. To say it was driving Cracker Yaz crazy was an understatement. If she could cum now she probably would but that would be impossible. She could only cum if the Doctor pulled her apart and by the look on her GFs face, it would be a while yet. 

The Doctor decided to ramp it up a bit, moving Cracker Yaz so she could look inside the crackers middle thought one of the ends. She moved her finger inside the end of the cracker. She found brown card sticking out of Cracker Yaz’s centre and began to harshly flick at it, knowing it would feel amazing, but wouldn’t make the gunpowder inside go off. She then suddenly pushed her pinky finger inside Cracker Yaz, feeling around the main part of her body. If Cracker Yaz could, she would be screaming. The Doctor actions had become harder, but I only made Yaz feel better and better. She so wanted to explode and release, but the doctor had promised that she would draw out her pleasure. She couldn’t even beg the Doctor to release her from the sweet sweet torture, the realisation only making her hornier.

As if the Doctor could read Cracker Yaz’s mind, she stopped and placed the cracker on the bed, and left the room.

 

*******************************************************************************************************

 

The Doctor repeated a similar pattern throughout that day – giving Cracker Yaz incredible sensations and then leaving her. She always put Cracker Yaz down to do silly things or sometimes nothing (Cracker Yaz was not impressed that she decided now to start reading Game of Thrones). Sure, they had done edging and denial before, but this was taking things to a new level. After the 10th time leaving Cracker Yaz on edge like this, the Doctor decided to crank it up a level. 

She picked up her cracker love, grabbed their favourite lube and laid out on the bed. Cracker Yaz was so tired and turned on already but she knew what her Doctor was going to do next. Cracker Yaz was almost vibrating with excitement as the Doctor trickled lube over her shiny paper surface. The Doctor grabbed her sonic and ran it along one end of Cracker Yaz, turning one end into a shape that would be a lot easier to push up her ass. 

The Doctor started by teasing Cracker Yaz down her body and then moved on to gently rubbing her cracker around the outside of her ass. Cracker Yaz was going crazy with anticipation, wishing more than ever that she could be talking to the Doctor while she did this with her - mostly so she could tell her lover how much she appreciated this but also, so she could whisper dirty little encouragements into her ear. Once she was ready, the Doctor pushed Cracker Yaz inside herself, groaning as her body stretched to fit her lover in. The Doctor was in euphoria but Cracker Yaz’s pleasure was on a whole other level. The Doctor’s warmth surrounding her and the pull on her body as she was moved in and out of her girlfriend’s ass was incredible. She could feel parts of the Doctor she had never felt before, parts she didn’t know she could feel in such a way. Yaz was desperate to be pulled apart now, she needed it so badly! She could feel from inside the Doctor that she was almost at her own climax. The Doctor came with a groan and pulled Cracker Yaz from herself slowly. She looked at the now soggy cracker with lidded eyes, grinning happily. 

“Suppose it is your turn next!” The Doctor whispered, using the sonic to turn Crack Yaz back into a proper cracker. Slowly she began to pull the cracker apart from both ends. Cracker Yaz mentally groaned as the Doctor finally started to pull her. The anticipation she always felt when a cracker was about to be pulled build up in her. With a final sudden tug, the Doctor ripped Cracker Yaz apart. With a small flash, the Cracker Yaz parts reformed and turned back into Yaz, drenched in a mix of her own sweat and lube and gasping. It took Yasmin a few minutes to recover enough to look over to the Doctor, her eyes wide open and mouth agape.

“T..tha..that wa…was…” Yaz gasped.

“Amazin?” The Doctor laughed, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“Yeah...Amazing” Yaz slowly sat up and removed the silver collar, placing it on the side table – wanting to keep it safe for another time. She moved closer to the Doctor, who was now sat up nibbling on a biscuit and wrapped an arm over her, snuggling into her side. She was too tired now to bother showering before bed. “Best Christmas ever!”

The Doctor smirked and pulled the duvet cover across both of their bodies. The lights dimmed around them, leaving them in a faint golden glow. 

Just as they were both about to drift off to sleep, Yaz had an idea, “Maybe next time we can turn you into a custard cream.” She whispered into the Doctors ear. Besides her, the Doctor shivered.

**Author's Note:**

> : )  
> I hate myself  
> but, i hope you enjoyed


End file.
